Please, come back
by misha-cutie-pie
Summary: 12x23. How did Dean react to Cas' death? What will the boys do in order to bring him back? How will Dean deal with the loss?
1. Chapter 1

He didn't see Sam going in the house. He felt numb. He fell to his knees next to his... friend's body. He was in shock. I can't believe it. It can't be real. Please, wake up. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.

It wasn't the first time he had lost him, it must have been at least the fifth. Hell, it was even the second time Lucifer killed him. But, somehow, this time it was different. It seemed more final. It was the first time he saw the wings burnt on the ground.

\- _Cas, please, wake up!_ –said Dean, tears running down his face.

Dean still couldn't believe he was gone. He couldn't be. He always came back. He had just got him back and he had already lost him. It was like a sick joke. Every time he got him back and thought that everything was going to be okay, he was taken away from him.

He reached a hand and placed it on his cheek. It was still warm. You could think he was asleep. He looked so peaceful. Dean could still see the expression of relief he wore when he got out of that dimension. For the few seconds their eyes met, they thought it was over. They had won and they were all okay.

How foolish of them to think that.

* * *

Sam went inside, looking for the Nephilim. He was trying not to think about what just has happened. He knew he should stay with Dean and comfort him, but he didn't have the strength at the moment. He went into the master room and saw Kelly's body on the bed; she looked so peaceful. He heard a noise coming from the corner of the room. He approached said corner and saw a young boy –he must be 20– sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest and his head on his knees. The boy sensed him and looked up, his golden eyes staring with curiosity into Sam.

* Jack?

A frown appeared on the boy's face when he heard his name.

# Who are you? How do you know my name?

* Uh... Well... The thing is-

# Where's my mother? –He asked as he started to get nervous.

* Relax. I'll tell you anything you want. Just, try to relax.

# Tell me right now what do you know.

Sam tried to think how he could tell him what happened and avoid him getting pissed and doing something dangerous.

* Okay, I'll tell you. But try to keep your emotions in control. Your mother... Kelly, she... She died giving birth. I'm sorry.

# I killed her? Where is she?

Sam pointed to the bed, where Kelly laid peacefully dressed in a white dress. Jack got over to the bed and reached his hand to hold hers.

# I can feel her soul. It's leaving. Where is she going?

* I guess she is going to Heaven. She will be alright there. She'll be at peace.

# She's going to Heaven? How's that poss-

Suddenly he saw a vision of a motel room, his mother and a man sitting on the beds. The man has a hand on her belly and is feeling the baby. Who's this man? Another vision, they are in a playground, his mother is holding the man's hand and he saves her from a woman. What does these images mean? I need to know. Just as he was about to ask Sam about the visions he sees a house, the man and his mother are in the same room his in now. His mother is trying to build some furniture and is getting frustrated but then the man enters the room and she relaxes. She trusted the man. Who is- She just called him Cas. Cas? What a strange name.

# Who's Cas?

* Cas? You know Cas? How?

# I saw a vision. My mother and him... She trusted him. I need to find him. Tell me where he is.

Sam started to feel the reality of Cas' death. No, no, no, no, no. I can't deal with this right now. He tried to push those feelings away.

* Cas... He is... He... He's dead.

# Dead? No, that can't be. I saw the future. I showed him the future.

* You saw the future? How- Never mind that. Lucifer, your dad, he killed him. Just outside the house.

# Lucifer's my dad?! What? That can't be possible.

* I'm sorry, but it's true. He wanted to have a child so he could have more power. But we- we locked him away in an alternative universe you opened.

# I opened an alternative reality?

Now that he thought about it, he could feel like some kind of electricity inside his body. Are those my powers?

# So I have powers?

* Yes, you do.

# I can feel them. I can feel my power running through my veins. I feel almost invincible. I feel like I could do anything. –He said with a smile on his face.

* * *

Dean was still on the floor next to Cas, but now he was sitting with Cas' head on his lap. He was running his fingers through his hair and over his face, and both of their faces were wet, Cas' from Dean's tears.

\- _I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Cas. I know lately I've been harsh on you but I hope you know- you knew that I cared for you. You had to know how important you were to me. I can't bear to think that you thought I didn't care for you._

He didn't notice two figures coming out of the house and standing a few foots away from Cas' body. He didn't see his little brother's pained expression as he saw what the angel's dead was doing to his brother. And he didn't see Jack with a frown on his face, seeming to be thinking hard about something.

\- _Cas, please, come back. I need you. You know that. I told you once before and I meant it. I also told you that you are family. Please, don't leave me._ –He knew he was rambling now. Probably not making sense, but he couldn't care less– _You know, I never apologized for beating you up when I had the mark. I almost killed you and I couldn't be brave enough to tell you how awful I felt. I- I'm so sorry, Cas!_

He was sobbing hard now. He didn't think he could feel more pain but now that's all he felt. His mind had decided to remember every single moment he had disappointed his angel, every time he had hurt him.

\- _CAS!_ –He sobbed– _Why did you have to go against Lucifer? I know you just wanted to do the right thing but... You always tried to do the right thing and it always ended up with you dead, hurt or... I don't know. I just... I- I need you to come back. Come back to me. Cas... Cas... Please, please, please..._

Sam watched as his brother broke down over his angel's body. He didn't realize tears were running down his face. He didn't think he could come back from this. This time he was truly broken. He needed to do something. Suddenly, he got an idea.

* _Jack! You said you could do anything, right?_

# _Yeah, why d-_

* _Do you think you could bring Cas back?_ –He asked, finally feeling some kind of hope.

# _I don't-_

* _Please, please, please. Tell me you can do something._

# _I could try, but it will take time. We can't do it here._

* _That's alright. We have a bunker. We can go there._

He was feeling excited now. He needed to tell Dean. He approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

* _Dean. Dean, look at me._

Dean didn't listen, or didn't care. He didn't turn to look at his brother.

* _Dean. Please, look at me. I need you to look at me. I- Please, I need to tell you something. It's important. Don't shut me down. I know you are feeling broken and you are hurting, but don't shut me down. I need you._

Dean heard his brother and, even though he didn't want to talk to anybody –unless it was Cas, somehow– but it was his little brother here. He needed him. He needed to be there for him. Slowly, he turned his head, his hands never leaving Cas' face.

Sam flinched when he saw how broken his brother was. His face was covered in tears and snot. His eyes read and full of tears. He was as pale as ghost. His expression one of heartbreak and pain.

* _Dean..._

\- _He's gone, Sammy. He's gone. He's gone. I can't... He... I..._

He sobbed and tried to turn his head again to look at Cas, but Sam forced his faced so he was looking at him again.

* _Dean._ _Dean, this is Jack. He's Kelly's kid. He... He thinks he may be able to... He may be able to bring Cas back._

Dean eyes opened wide in shock.

* _But we have to go to the bunker. So come on. Let's go! I can help you carry the body-_

 _\- No! Don't touch him!_

He placed one arm behind his knees and the other one behind his neck, and stood up. He started walking to the car. Sam opened the backseat door so he could place Cas' body there. To his surprise he got in the back with him, placing his head on his lap.

The ride to the bunker was silent and when they got there, Dean took Cas on his arms and went to his room, where he placed him on his bed and covered him with the duvet. He sat on a chair next to his bed and took his hand on his own.

After a little while, Sam came into his room and started to explain what Jack was going to do and what he needed to do it. Dean only half-listened to what Sam was saying, his mind unable to focus on anything other than Cas laying on his bed. Sam noticed this and decided to leave him be and help Jack by himself./p


	2. Chapter 2

Sam and Jack are in the library doing research. They had found a book that mentioned a resurrecting ritual. It was a long-shot but, right now, that's all they could do. Dean hadn't left Cas' side since they got to the bunker and Sam had to force him to eat and go to the bathroom. He refused at first but, in the end, he was able to get him to eat and clean himself. Still, he wouldn't do anything unless Sam was there telling him over and over again to look after himself. He just sat by Cas' side, holding his hand. Sometimes he would talk to him but other than that, he hadn't said a word.

Sam looks at his watch, it's been 2 hours since he last checked on Dean. He decides to take a break and go see how he's holding up.

\- _Jack, I'm going to go check on my brother._

\- _Okay._

\- _Please, let me know if you find anything. I'm not sure he can take this more longer. It's almost been two days... Just... Let me know._

\- _I know, Sam. I will._

Sam gets up and heads to Dean's room. He doesn't know how he will find his brother.

\- _Dean?_ –He says as he enters the room– _Dean, how ar-_

He sees Dean resting his right cheek on his hand, the one that's holding Cas'. Sam decides to let him rest. _God –Chuck– knows he needs it_. Instead, he goes to his room but, on his way there, he passes by Cas' room. He enters and sees that it's empty. _He never stayed long enough to make it his own_. He thinks with sadness. He opens the drawer on the nightstand to see if maybe he kept something there. There's some papers, two broken phones, an iPod and a notebook. He picks up the notebook and sees that there are some pictures inside. Most of them are photos of Sam and Dean, in one of them there's Bobby, in other ones it's just him. But there's one that catches his attention, on the backside it reads:

 ** _A very special day with a very special someone._**

He recognizes the handwriting, but it's not Cas'. He turns it over and realizes who gave it to him. It was Charlie. It was the day she met Cas, after the whole Book of the Damned deal. He remembers how she kept taking pictures of them. This one shows Dean and Cas sitting close to each other. Cas is telling something to Dean and Dean is looking at him with a face of adoration, as if he was the only person in the world. They are both smiling.

Sam feels tears running down his face. He remembers that day. It had been one of their happiest moments in a while and they had enjoyed it eating pizza with their family, enjoying each other's company. _I can't lose control now. I need to be there for Dean. I can't... But... No, no, no. Please, not now._ Tears keep falling down his cheeks and he can't help it. He hasn't allowed himself to think about Cas' death until now, but he was his friend to. _He is- was more than that. He was family, a brother. He... He's..._

\- _No, no, no, no, no_ –He says as he falls to his knees.

He starts sobbing and can't seem to stop. He knows he's being loud but he can't help it. He just hopes that Dean doesn't see him like this.

* * *

Dean wakes up startled. _I could swear I just heard someone crying_. He looks over at Cas and rans a hand over his cold cheek. He hears the crying sound again but this time it sounds familiar. _I know that sound. That's... That's Sammy!_ He gets full-on brother mode and, after squeezing his hand and telling him that he will be back, he goes looking for Sammy.

He follows the sound to Cas' room, just right across the hall. He finds his little brother sobbing on the floor. He crouches down next to him and brings him into a hug. Sam brings his arms around his brother's body and Dean holds him tighter.

\- _Dean... I'm... I'm sorry. I..._

\- _Shh... Sammy. Let it out. Let it all out._

Dean feels his eyes watering and tries to stop the tears from falling but he can't. Soon enough he's crying silently while he comforts his brother. After a few minutes, Sam seems to relax and slow his breathing.

\- _Dean... He's gone..._

\- _I know, Sammy. I know_ –He says with a broken voice.

Sam pulls back to look at his brother and sees that he is crying too. _Damn it! He's so broken. I shouldn't have let him found me like this._

\- _Dean, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break down like this._

\- _You don't have to apologize. He was... He was family. You lost him too. I should be the one apologizing. I haven't been there for you. It's just that..._

\- _I understand. It's okay. You've always taken care of me, now I'm taking care of you._

\- _But you shouldn't have t-_

\- _It's okay that you feel like you do. You've lost so many people... But this time... This time is different. You've never lost someone like Cas. What you both had..._

\- _I can't believe it, Sam. I still can't believe that he's gone. That he's... He's..._

He breaks down and stars sobbing loudly. Sam hugs him again, this time holding his brother tightly while he buried his face on his shoulder.

\- _I know you miss him, but we are going to bring him back. We'll find a way. But right now, you need to be strong._

\- _But... You don't understand. He was... We... I..._

\- _Dean, I do. I understand. You had feelings for him._

Dean looks at his brother with wide eyes. He wasn't expecting his brother to be so understanding.

\- _Sam, I..._

\- _Don't try to deny it, Dean. I know you. I saw how you two acted around each other. You cared about him. You liked him. You-_

\- _I loved him, Sammy._

Now is Sam's turn to look wide eyed at his brother. He didn't think that his brother would admit it. He thought he would have had to convince him or something.

\- _I loved him and I... I didn't realize that until it was too late. Until..._

Sam was about to ask him when he realized he had feelings for him when he heard a voice calling his name.

\- _Sam! I found it! I know how to bring him back!_


End file.
